I was in a toy store today shopping for a gift for my nephew, when I happened across the candy section of the store. There was a pretty wide range of sweets, the typical chocolate and hard candies along with some of the more unusual modern things like cell phone candy and the like.
Then I noticed this and had to look twice… Candy cigarettes. something I remember having as a kid (popeye brand for me thanks,) but I thought had vanished in a poof of political correctness years ago.
Of course I had to buy some, a bargain at 40 cents a pack. Despite the fact they are now called “sticks” and not cigarettes, it is pretty clear from the packaging that they did not spend a lot of thought on the redesign of the product after changing this word.
First up we have King-Lion brand. Look at this… I opened them up and sure enough, the “sticks” looked just like I remembered them. Very clearly modeled on its tobacco counterpart.
The sticks are paper wrapped pseudo-chocolate.
Just as all teenagers know, smoking makes you look cool. Now I can have that whole defiant rebel look going on without any of that pesky cancer and heart disease.
I do have to say, the use of the word “chocolate” is very generous. It is barely chocolate. It is barely edible in fact… they taste really quite bad. If it were not for how cool they made me look, I would not have kept up the habit all afternoon. The package actually calls it “chocolate flavoured confection” which contains Sugar, hardened vegetable oil, whey powder, soy, cocoa powder and vanilla. After reading that, perhaps I should still consider they health effects of these bad boys.
One last thing, these “sticks” are not just for the boys anymore. Obviously they have found small girls to be a key demographic that must not be missed. So if the King Lion brand are a little to butch for you, there is the amazingly feminine “Aerobica” for the ladies. I particularly like the 1980’s workout lady image on the packet. From the taste of these, they have very likely been sitting around since those leg warmers were in fashion.
Oh, before you condemn the Germans for still having this on the shelves, it is not a product they make. This fine children’s confectionary is made by the good folks in the Netherlands at PIETERMAN
http://www.pietchoc.nl/